Originally, just the house church guys were going to read through Desiring God (John Piper) this summer, but it's become a whole house church (whole snow cone!) thing instead. In my wanderings over the past week or so, I'd opted for other reading & other pursuits instead of catching up to the guys, but as I picked it up today I realized I'd already been wrestling with some of this already.
Tomorrow, it'll be a month since my resignation, and that month's flown by - heavy with questions and re-awakening. Though it feels like I've second-guessed it up to tenths & fifteenths, probably, I know that God has a purpose in this waiting and wondering, and I want to wait and wonder (and wrestle and dig!) well.
Our discussion last night has had me thinking a lot, and praying, about where my heart is now and about what it means to delight in the Lord, for Him to be my treasure. As the day has passed, I've recognized again my tendency to wander, to allow other things to steal the affection that belongs only to God. I was reminded this morning of a verse that was given to me several years ago (~5?!) by a good friend, written on the bottom of a stone. The top of the stone said, carved simply, "love;" on the bottom was written "Rev 2:4." The verse seemed odd to me at first, but through the years since it has pointed me straight back to Christ in times where I'd allowed the whole world to come in between. Now, of course, is one of those times. The verse that follows calls me to do three things: to remember, to repent and to return. My pride has kept me from truly doing those things for quite a while, but, by grace alone, I realize that now.
I want to do those things daily.
* (No one told me I got the months wrong!!! :-p)