Alas

My Bernina is brokened.

It just stopped in the middle of a stitch run like the needle had hit something, but it hadn't. There are no visible obstructions or disconnected parts & the problem seems to be with the upper mechanics, so off to the bernina doctor it goes. I guess.

And I was about 2/3's done with my project for Winn's gallery on Friday.

On a slightly happier note, however, the inner workings of a sewing machine are incredibly COOL.

Resonance

"St. Paul"
written by Thomas Merton

When I was Saul, and sat among the cloaks,
My eyes were stones, I saw no sight of heaven,
Open to take the spirit of the twisting Stephen.
When I was Saul, and sat among the rocks,
I locked my eyes, and made my brain my tomb,
Sealed with what boulders rolled across my reason!

When I was Saul and walked upon the blazing desert
My road was quiet as a trap.
I feared what word would split high noon with light
And lock my life, and try to drive me mad:
And thus I saw the Voice that struck me dead.

Tie up my breath, and wind me in white sheets of anquish,
And lay me in my three days' sepulchre
Until I find my Easter in a vision.

Oh Christ! Give back my life, go, cross Damascus,
Find out my Ananias in that other room:
Command him, as you do, in this my dream;
He knows my locks, and owns my ransom,
Waits for Your word to take his keys and come.

favorite words

I am blatantly copying the incredibly awesome Miska now my posting my favorite words!

preposterous
shenanigan
indicative
eve or evening
sweet (in stitch voice)
aardvaark
bernina
shellac
whomp


a few names of cities nearly made it on the list just 'cause they're fun to say:

sheboygan
potlatch
spokane


EDIT: Jeromie and I had a discussion yesterday (Oct 28) after church about heists and foisting. I think heist is a fun word. :-D Maybe even a favorite!

Restlessness

Today, I've been plagued by a strange restlessness in which I find myself in constant motion, but not really getting anything done. There are plenty of things I want to be doing (knitting, sewing, reading) and plenty of things I should be doing (laundry, dishes), but I can't seem to settle into any of them.

Maybe running will help. :-)

Off I go.

Minor Carnage

Whew.

I feel very very blessed/fortunate/lucky/relieved. I probably will not be wearing my engagement ring to work anymore.

Here is the carnage:







Here is the story:


My first task at work today was to take the paper recycling out to the paper recycling dumpster in the back. I work in a bookstore, so we have LOTS of paper recycling, and we'd unfortunately let it build up behind the desk this past week. It took a couple of trips to get everything out in the little yellow buggies we have, and sometime during the second trip out to the dumpster, I had a mishap with one of the boxes... I dropped it. On the verge of getting it into the dumpster. I'm fairly certain said carnage occurred during this particular event...

Box or dumpster catches ring. Box or dumpster bends prong(s) backwards. Stone loosens in setting. Stone doesn't fall out til I get back to the front desk for trip #3.

Of course, I didn't realize this 'til sometime AFTER the event. In fact, it was the third trip out when I noticed. Somehow, I didn't freak out... I think that was grace #1. I looked around a bit, calmly walked to the front, alerted my supervisor that I'd be out back for a while and why, then walked back out to the dumpster, talked to Jesus about it, and commenced searching.

It's pretty sandy and gross in the back, with uneven pavement & a rickety ramp. I looked everywhere I'd walked, under things, by the dumpster. No luck. Looked into the dumpster. Saw paper. Lots of paper. Walked calmly back to the front to ask for a flashlight. I was pretty much ready to hop IN the nasty dumpster to look.

While I was waiting up front for Jeanne to find a flashlight, I caught a glimpse of something shiny in the carpet behind the desk. I ran around the corner, picked it up, and there it was! Grace #2. :-D YAY!

Time elapsed: less than 10 minutes

God knows the number of hairs on our heads, and He sees stones & sparrows fall. In the grand scheme of things, this event was minor... but somehow God saw fit to bring peace & to help me find it.

I'm pretty thankful.

* * * * * * *

Busy Buzzy Bee...

There was definitely a buzzy, skittery, flappy moth inside my windshield last night... freaking me out while I was flying down I-85 at 70mph & 11 o'clock at night. I pity the moth that tries that again.

Jeromie's semi-birthday project of creating some office space in the house is *officially* underway. We met with Juli on Thursday morning about ideas, then drove down to Atlanta yesterday to hunt down a desk & chair at IKEA. It was my first time in IKEA, and boy was I overwhelmed when we drove up. Jeromie and I were both expecting maybe a Super-Walmart-sized deal, but no... it was twice that. With 2 levels of parking underneath. And enough furniture to make at least one person lose their mind & and personal possessions.

During & after the IKEA experience, we got to hang out with my awesome sister, Diane, and her husband, Drew. Spending time with Diane and Drew always gets me thinking, in good ways, and so my favorite part of the trip was conversation/discussion with them... and a night-time run around Piedmont Park.

Back to IKEA Tuesday with the fantastic Juli Kalbaugh.

* * * * * * *

On pins and needles...

My last knitting project took FAR too long. The cause was not difficulty, but life-related distraction. Well, finally the project is done and I can post a picture or two!



Big, Bad Baby Blanket
Source: Stitch 'N Bitch by Debbie Stoller
Yarn: Muench Tessin
Thoughts: Very blue, very warm!


This is, by far, the largest & longest knitting project I've done. The pattern was simple and turned out well with the Tessin yarn. It's fluffy & will hopefully do a fantastic job of keeping baby Luke warm for his first winter (in Colorado). All I've gotta do is stick in the mail to my awesome friends, Becki & Tony. :-D I just wish I'd gotten it done *before* Luke arrived!





* * * * * * * * * *

On the needles now are:

- (Knitting) An attempt at a little stuffed lizard... we'll see how he turns out.
- (Knitting) Some Christmas presents!

I'm addicted

I'm addicted.

I am.

Not to caffeine. Not to drugs. Not even to knitting... I'm addicted to my fiddle!

It's a strange sensation. I've been practicing a lot over the past couple of days and thoroughly enjoying it... looking forward to playing it... so when I left the fiddle at home yesterday while we were in Clemson, I found myself missing it. Me, missing a musical instrument. Now that's weird. To me, at least.

I had a great lesson today too, so when I got back to the Open Book, I had to resist the urge to pull out the fiddle then and there and torture everyone with my not-so-great-yet playing. :-p For now, I'll restrain myself & just deafen Jeromie. :-)

To make things even better, I've been able to start running again lately with no pain in my foot, so I'm thrilled!


I've been really encouraged over the past week... and actually talking to God more, too. I'd found myself avoiding Him a lot, but much less so lately - and that relationship is what's given me the most hope. The fiddle & running are more like the icing on the cake. Not even the icing... God's the cake AND the icing... I guess everything else is just sprinkles. :-D



I'm also addicted to fall, I think, and all we got here was a tease!

Bookedy Book Book Book

I´ve yet to determine if this is good or bad, but my list of books I want to read has grown exponentially since starting work at the awesome local bookstore. In fact, several weeks ago I knocked a whole bunch off the list by reading something like 8 books in two weeks to keep it under control... but I slowed down... a little. :-)

I think the next book on my list might be... A Prayer For Owen Meany (Irving).

I´m not sure yet. :-D



Sooooooooooooooo...

What are you reading?

and

If you could choose two staff picks (favorites) for a bookstore, what would they be??

Fear

"There is so much fear in us. Fear of people, fear of God and much raw, undefined, free-floating anxiety. I wonder if fear is not our main obstacle to prayer. When we enter into the presence of God and start to sense that huge reservoir of fear in us, we want to run away into the many distractions which our busy world offers us so abundantly. But we should not be afraid of our fears. We can confront them, give words to them and lead them into the presence of him who says: 'Do not be afraid, it is I.' Our inclination is to show our Lord only what we feel comfortable with. But the more we dare to reveal our whole trembling self to him, the more we will be able to sense that his love, which is perfect, casts out all our fears."

- Henri J.M. Nouwen
A Cry for Mercy

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


I have spent much much of my life dwelling in fear. Fear of people, fear of God, fear of self, fear of feeling, fear of failing. The past few years or so, and particularly this past year, have been a newer season - characterized much less by fear, but much more by a subtle numbness, a creeping in of apathy (or so I think). I have, on many counts, been much "happier" and "more confident," but I've also been distant from the God who rescued me and gave me Life.

I think I've been content to make mudpies, as CS Lewis put it.

The past few days, I've heard God whispering to my heart again. He's been poking and prodding and revealing that the fear hadn't truly left, but been dumbed down and wished away. His perfect love casts out all fear... he doesn't let it sleep under the stairs like I do. Reverent fear, awe, respect - these are poor words for what I feel I must keep. The cringing fear, the hiding fear, the running-away fear - in the face of Jesus, those have to go.

I always seem to forget that it's a daily thing.

I want to choose God over all the distractions - and boy are they ever abundant! And hard to discern... sometimes... sometimes I just choose the distractions. :-(

Deals are Deals

Post a comment and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

Fiddling around.

I *hate* it when I can't sleep. :-\ I would much rather wake up early tomorrow morning and be productive then, but noooooo... I'm wide awake. :-) :-p

I've been on a bit of a plateau on learning to play / enjoying the fiddle. I think it had something to do with being out of town so much and afraid to practice around people, but whatever the reason, I think I'm over it now. (Off it? What do you do at the end of a plateau? Jump? No, that would imply going downward. I thought a plateau ended in a dropoff... but this one ends in an up! I'm starting to think that plateau might be the wrong terminology for fiddling and running... or perhaps I'm just too tired to think straight about it.) I thoroughly enjoyed my lesson this afternoon and pretty much promptly came home & practiced... and then put it away... and then couldn't resist pulling the fiddle out again later on to play along with Jeromie (on his mandolin)!

Now that I'm trying to SLEEP, all I hear in my head is fiddle music.




On the bright side, at least it's not banjo music. ;-) Then I'd have to paddle faster.

An Open Book...

I was going to wait until I had some pictures to post, but I think I'll just add them in later...

------------------

Quite a bit's happened in the past month! We went semi-super-north, semi-super-south, and I found a rather enjoyable part-time job!


semi-super-north : MAINE

Toward the end of July, Jeromie and I flew up to Portland, Maine, then the drove to Bridgton (Moose Pond!) for a family reunion - my stepmom's family. It was an *great* trip - fun to be around extended family and a good balance of action/relaxion. I know, I just made up a word. Highlights would have to be: good conversations with family, the loft we got to sleep in, the beautiful view, and the 3rd annual family 5k.

We spent our last day in downtown Portland, wandering around various shops, hunting down yarn stores & thrift shops, and pur-chasing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows from a cool local bookstore (Longfellow Books?).

Tangent: Up until shortly after this trip, I'd only read HPs 1 & 2 and just didn't feel like following the craze through the rest of them; however, once Jeromie got (and in rather short order, finished) the 7th, I got kind of curious and ran off to the library for #3. Since we got back from Maine (July 24th), I've finished the rest of them... including #7 last night. Earlier in July, I rediscovered my love for reading of nearly any sort, which made it pretty easy to get sucked into the Potter books. I like them. More than I remember liking first two!

Back to Portland, though, and Maine in general: I thoroughly enjoyed it. Getting to finally see some of New England has got Jero & me reconsidering Gordon-Conwell for further school endeavors.


semi-super-south : ALABAMA

Orange Beach, to be exact, with Jeromie's family for his mom's 50th birthday! Hanging out with Jeromie's family has always been awesome thus far, and this time was no exception. I just hope they've forgiven me for being a bit of a bookworm! ;-) It was great fun to get to swim and rest and cook and monkey around with everyone.

I've always been kind of neutral about beaches until now. I'd never been to any outside the Carolinas. The water was clearer and the sand was soft, so this time I *really* enjoyed the beach for being itself.


rather enjoyable part-time job : THE OPEN BOOK

Woo-hoo! After nearly a month of being a bit pesky, I got a job at the Open Book! I started last week before we left for Alabama. It's a great, great local independent bookstore with awesome staff. Over the past couple of years, whether out of stress or no-time, I'd kind of forgotten how much I like to read... and thus I read pretty much out of necessity and not much else. When I finished at my previous job and started hunting around for a part-time job, I decided to think outside the box... in other words, places I hadn't considered before or had thought unattainable AND no big-box retail places. Jeromie and I hadn't really bought any new books since moving to Greenville, so I'd nearly forgotten about the Open Book, having not been there since sometime in high school. Having been back lately, I love it! No more big-box bookstores... none none none.

Desiring God

(July* 10)

Originally, just the house church guys were going to read through Desiring God (John Piper) this summer, but it's become a whole house church (whole snow cone!) thing instead. In my wanderings over the past week or so, I'd opted for other reading & other pursuits instead of catching up to the guys, but as I picked it up today I realized I'd already been wrestling with some of this already.

Tomorrow, it'll be a month since my resignation, and that month's flown by - heavy with questions and re-awakening. Though it feels like I've second-guessed it up to tenths & fifteenths, probably, I know that God has a purpose in this waiting and wondering, and I want to wait and wonder (and wrestle and dig!) well.

(July* 11)

Our discussion last night has had me thinking a lot, and praying, about where my heart is now and about what it means to delight in the Lord, for Him to be my treasure. As the day has passed, I've recognized again my tendency to wander, to allow other things to steal the affection that belongs only to God. I was reminded this morning of a verse that was given to me several years ago (~5?!) by a good friend, written on the bottom of a stone. The top of the stone said, carved simply, "love;" on the bottom was written "Rev 2:4." The verse seemed odd to me at first, but through the years since it has pointed me straight back to Christ in times where I'd allowed the whole world to come in between. Now, of course, is one of those times. The verse that follows calls me to do three things: to remember, to repent and to return. My pride has kept me from truly doing those things for quite a while, but, by grace alone, I realize that now.

I want to do those things daily.



* (No one told me I got the months wrong!!! :-p)

Jeremy Casella :: Recovery

This album has rather quickly climbed near the top of my most-playeds in i-tunes in month or so since I first got my paws on it. Jeremy Casella is now topped only by Chris Thile & U2 (who've been in the library for years). :-)

My first exposure to Jeremy Casella's artful music was at an event where Indelible Grace came to play at Clemson Presbyterian. "Joyful Fire" spoke volumes to me and prompted me to hunt down more of his music. Several years later, he's released an album called Recovery and it is incredible. Incredible musically, incredible in honesty, incredible in diversity with a mix of genres and styles.

The entire album has resonated with me lately, in title and lyrics, as I've found the voice of, perhaps, a kindred spirit - one who knows that God calls us to a living, breathing relationship with Him and with others and that this honesty requires, at times, a wrestling with God, self and story.

In this album, Jeremy Casella has boldly spoken of God and His truth, and of the pilgrim journey we're on.

Once again, I'd suggest *everyone* go get it! :-D

http://www.jeremycasella.com/store/store.html

I <3 my sewing machine...

I've been really busy these past few days... busy sewing, not busy doing things I should (like yardwork - don't worry, we did some tonight!). So now it's time to share some of the sewing goodness. I've had a TON of fun with it, though I'm a real slowpoke. I've made my first, second and third forays into the world of re-fashioning, and I believe they've been successful! I also know now that I *can* follow a pattern correctly, which means that I can at least sew simple clothing now. :-) YAY!

So here goes...

Refashion #1: Twin-sized sheet into drawstring skirt


Skirt



Skirt & Pup




Funnily-proportioned, funny-faced... just plain funny




Gumby-Liz (seeing if the skirt spins at all... maybe a little!)



Refashion #2: Old Camp Greenville t-shirt into a modest halter top


Tank in a tree




Teasing the furzy pup :-D



Refashion #3: A pair o' Jero's cargo shorts into a purse!


Purses climb trees too, you know!




Purse & pup




Outside pockets inside!




Not a refashion, but something I've been having fun with lately:


Fiddlin' around...

Refashioning

I just officially sewed my first wearable item (a skirt), and I made it out of a sheet! Yay!! I'll add pictures sometime down the road. I'm a bit too excited to leave the post til later though. :-D

A year in the life of...

The Rands!

Sunday marked one year of being married for us, so I thought that perhaps I'd dig around a bit in the photo archives & see what sort of one-year goodness, badness and okayness I could find. I'm guessing we don't have any photos from the rough parts... honestly, neither of us did a particularly good job of taking pictures. Thus, there might not be much... but here goes!




Yay married!




My favorite homegrown dancing picture (not by a professional photographer...), although this might actually be my favoritefavorite dancing picture. :-)




happy Costa Rica Jero




they arranged our towels in different fun ways each day... like this!




Love Bug... Love Slug! (how romantic...)




My favorite picture from the hikes we took




"Steve, Token Photo Monkey"




best view of feet ;-)




San Jose




Nearly Fall at the Botanical Gardens




Sweet Fancy Moses!





The Dread Pirate Roberts meets his end...




House Church Murder Mystery




Married Christmas!




Two Resentful Peons (Dalmuti on New Years... Jero & Diane)




Beginning the new year on an interesting foot with Mom
Dallas, TX




Visiting DTS




The Moon at DTS




Snow Tiger




Vaguely reminiscent of Costa Rica




We spent our anniversary with a llama!




Ahhhhh... one year!

Snow in June

Just teasing.

More like pictures of snow, forgotten til June.

Last week, I pulled out my little Canon for the anniversary trip and realized I hadn't used it since January/February... whenever we got that random snowfall earlier this year. Anyhow, I figured I'd post one of my favorite pictures from that morning & reminisce about cool weather.

Sometime soon, I also intend on posting a few pictures from our anniversary trip soon too. :-)

Recovery (part 2)

So. Recovery... I realized today that the song (Recovery) on said album fits this new season well.

The past few weeks have brought a complete change of perspective. Several months ago I blogged briefly about my shift in positions at work & the challenge of the new role. Just more than 2 months later, I'm exhausted and finished, but I have learned A TON. A few weeks ago, several unrelated events brought me to a place where I had to re-evaluate my abilities & commitments, and I've done that re-evaluating prayerfully and with the input of a number of people I respect. End result is that I am now able to dedicate my time and energy to some things, and relationships too, that I've neglected for a long time.

(I know. That was cryptic. But this is a blog. :-) )

So, today marks another new beginning... one that has been suitably mourned/celebrated with a little planting...

This young plant is known as Basil the 2nd. His predecessor met an untimely death at the beginning of winter because Jero & I got caught up in other things & left him on the porch.





I also did a bit of re-potting. We received a peace lily from my awesome Grandma last spring before the wedding. Peace Lily has spent the winter indoors and thus has fared much better than Basil I. Fast friends already (if plants can make friends):





So, from here I journey on. God is most certainly at work for good in the midst of all of this, more than I can say! And by grace alone, I'm listening.


(new beginnings)